Thanks for requesting my free seven-lesson course

"The Path of Healing & Restoring;
For Those Who Are Grieving"

Lesson #2: Feeling Complete and Whole in Mind & Spirit

Hello. I'm Bob Miller ND, with Lesson # 2 of your course of finding the path of healing and restoration for grieving persons.

In this lesson, we will explore the feelings of loss and grieving that you are feeling. This is the first of five emotions that we will cover. The feelings of loss may make you feel incomplete, as though part of you is missing.

But First, Let's Start With......

A Review of Lesson # 1

I define any life challenge as a sorrow issue. A sorrow issue can be any setback, disappointment, unmet need, too much being demanded of you or traumatic events and losses. In these lessons, we are referring to the sorrow issue as the loss of your loved one.

As a result of the sorrow, you experience the five emotions of stress:

1. Feelings of loss and grief.

2. The grieving and loss next creates fear. This can be fears that another sorrow issue will happen, fears for your well being and care, fears for the future or fear of how you will cope without your loved one being with you.

3. As a result of fear, you experience anger at others, the world, yourself, or turn it inward as depressing thoughts, guilt or shame.

4. Next, you experience lowered self-worth and self-esteem

5. Lastly, you begin to worry or over think, replaying past events or worry about the future.

 

For each of these emotions, I will teach you three simple Exercises we will use for each one, so you can find healing and restoration:

  • Exercise # 1 Identify the loss issues that create your grieving.
  • Exercise # 2 Explore how you will feel and act when you begin to heal and restore from the loss.
  • Exercise # 3 Use Guided Imagery to teach your subconscious mind that you can feel complete and whole in mind and spirit.

So Let's Begin Exercise # 1 by......

Identifying Your Loss and Grief

The premise of this lesson is that the passing of a loved one creates many losses in your life. Exercise # 1 is to identify in what ways you are feeling and experiencing loss. The types of losses you are experiencing are based upon who your lost and how their passing is impacting your life. Listed below is some of the more commonly experienced feelings of loss based upon your relationship to them.

For Parents, Grand parents, Aunts, Uncles

If your loss is a parent, grandparent or other older person than yourself these feelings of loss are commonly experienced:

  • The loss of no longer having them to talk to, or to seek advice or no longer having the opportunity to share life experiences with them.
  • If you are in charge on financial affairs or an estate, it may feel overwhelming.
  • In some instances, there is feelings of shame or guilt if you believe you missed opportunities to say something to them, or have remorse over things you said or did that they showed disapproval
  • General feelings of emptiness in your life due to their passing
  • You may dread holidays or special occasions and feel you lost the happiness of these special occasions.
  • It may feel as though part of you is missing. You may feel incomplete.

For Brothers, Sisters, Cousins or Close Friends

If your loss is a sibling, close relative or friend these feelings of loss are commonly experienced:

  • The loss of no longer having them to talk to, or no longer having the opportunity to share life experiences with them.
  • The loss of opportunities for future times together
  • In some instances, there is feelings of shame or guilt if you believe you missed opportunities to say something to them, or have remorse over things you said or did that they showed disapproval
  • General feelings of emptiness in your life due to their passing. It may feel as though part of you is missing. You may feel incomplete.

Losing a Spouse

If your loss is your spouse, these feelings of loss are commonly experienced:

  • The loss of companionship, love and intimacy.
  • The loss of no longer having them to talk to, or no longer having the opportunity to share life experiences with them.
  • The loss of opportunities for future times together.
  • The loss of the resources they brought to your relationship. Examples is handing of finances, earning of income, fixing or repairing things, cooking, general housework, taking care of yard work, maintaining autos, etc.
  • In some instances, there is feelings of shame or guilt if you believe you missed opportunities to say something to them, or have remorse over things you said or did that they showed disapproval.
  • The loss of the joy of holidays and special occasions.
  • General feelings of emptiness in your life due to their passing. It may feel as though part of you is missing. You may feel incomplete.
  • You may feel as though you have lost part of your future.

Losing a Child

If your loss is your child, these feelings of loss are commonly experienced:

  • The loss of no longer having them to talk to, or no longer having the opportunity to share life experiences with them.
  • The loss of opportunities for future times together.
  • The loss of experiencing their graduation, marriage, potential grandchildren, etc. Many people experience feelings of loss at the time of these events occur in the future.
  • The loss of the joy of holidays and special occasions.
  • General feelings of emptiness in your life due to their passing. It may feel as though part of you is missing. You may feel incomplete.

Clearly, these losses described above are rather general, and you may be able to identify many more areas of loss due to your loved ones passing. It may be helpful if you take some time and identify and list the things you believe you are losing and experiencing grief as a result of it.

Now Lets Move on to Exercise # 2....

Learning that "I Can Become Complete and Whole In Mind & Spirit"

The goal of today's lesson is to help you learn an important principle;

In Mind and Spirit , You can become or move towards feeling Complete and Whole

This is very significant, and the core of today's lesson, so I will say it again; In mind and spirit, you can move towards feeling complete and whole

If you want to include your faith in your work, think of it this way: With God's help, I am complete and whole despite the losses I am experiencing.

Learning this important principle is the beginning step of your path to healing and restoration.

So Lets Learn.....

The Cognitive Restructuring

As we discussed in lesson # 1, Cognitive Restructuring is learning new ways of thinking about a situation. If you believe you are less than whole, your thoughts and actions will be accordingly. However, when you accomplish the cognitive restructuring and learn that in mind and spirit, you are still complete and whole, you will think, act and behave in the new positive way.

Before you begin the procedures and process of learning the new thought behaviors, you need to fix in your mind the end result. Let me explain: If you ever built or made anything, before you began, you probably had a picture in your mind as to what it would look like.

If you are making a piece of clothing, you may look at catalogs or see examples. If you are building a house or a room addition, you first get somewhat of an idea as to what the FINISHED product will look like. Then you go about making blueprints, patterns, getting the materials or tools and then go about creating the finished product.

However, it always starts with a thought about the finished product. So that's what we are going to do now, start thinking about what your life will be like after you have done the cognitive restructuring.

Here's all you have to do. For some or all of the losses you identified, ask yourself and answer the following questions. You can do this in your head, or write it down .

Let's Get Started With.....

Question # 1

How would you feel, if in mind and spirit, you were complete and whole and fully restored, despite your loss of __________ ? (this comes from your list of losses you are feeling).

What I am asking here, is for you to sit back for a moment and just "pretend" that if you did feel complete and whole, despite this loss, what would that feel like to you. There is no right or wrong answer. Just speculate and think about or write down what comes to you. If the sorrow issue is too deep and you can't even imagine that, it's OK. This happens and is normal. Just go on to a less significant sorrow issue. Don't give up if this happens!!!

Now...Keep Going on to....

Question # 2

How would you act differently, or how would your life improve, if you felt complete and whole?

Think about this a bit, "pretend" you felt complete and whole, and let your mind wander as to how you would act or how life would change. Write these reaction or response down if you are taking notes.

Then...Moving on To....

Question # 3

How would it feel if you acted and behaved in the way you just described above? Here again, "pretend" and "imagine" you were acting and behaving as you described above. How would this feel? If you can't go there yet, that's OK. Your answer may be a paragraph long or just "great", or "freeing" or "peaceful".

Repeat this for your entire list of losses.

Now You will Understand.....

What This has done!

As you do this exercise, "imagining" or "pretending" you feel complete and whole, and "imagining" or "pretending" to see how you would act, behave and feel, something very powerful starts to happen in your subconscious mind that I'm not sure I can explain. Pioneers in mind/body work such as Norman Vincent Peale said something to this effect; "What the mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve."

You have now made some mental pictures in your mind as to what the end result will be. When we make or build something, after drawing the blueprint or knowing in your mind what you want as the end result, you go about collecting the materials and doing the work to make your thoughts a reality.

Which Takes You To.....

Exercise # 3 Of Cognitive Restructuring

To help you get your healing and restoration, the next step is to perform mental guided imagery, that simply and easily "teaches" you these new ways of thinking.

It's for this reason, that we created the five CD set called Tranquilities for Grieving Persons

The first CD in the set is the Restoration CD. It is used with the Restoration aromatherapy oil blend to work together to help you create the mental images that teach you that you are complete and whole.

 

In Lesson Seven, I will explain in full detail what Guided Imagery is, how it works, and how you can use it to create new positive ways of thinking, but here's a brief overview of how the Restoration CD and Restoration aromatherapy blend easily guides you into learning you are complete and whole in mind and spirit:

  • Rest comfortably with head phones and close your eyes as you listen to the CD
  • Rev. Donna Shenk and myself will be speaking on the CD, and will guide you into a state of relaxation though breathing and relaxing your muscles. Soft music and the sounds of chimes in the wind will help you deeply relax.
  • We will guide you into making a mental picture or metaphor of your sorrow issue
  • We will gently guide you into picturing and imagining the mental picture that you created changing. (I will explain this process in detail in lesson #7)
  • You will be instructed to say affirmations and smell the aromatherapy oil
  • You will be told to open your eyes, feeling better than you have all day.

This entire process only takes about 20 minutes. It may sound simplistic, but it is a very powerful technique that will gently help you understand new, positive ways of thinking. If you would like to learn more about these CDs, please visit www.tranquilities.biz/grieving.cfm

I believe that guided imagery is the easiest, most effective, and fastest way to learn these important principles .

Learning to view your losses in a new way is your first step in your healing and restoration.

To purchase Tranquilities, click on one of these options.

Click Here to Purchase With Secure Online Ordering
Click Here to Order By Phone, Fax or Mail

In your next lesson, we will move on to Step # 2 and begin the process of discovering how your losses create fear, and how you can build your courage and conquer fear.

For Your Healing and Restoration,

Robert Miller ND

For your next lesson, go to:

Grieving Support Lesson 3